When the Registry in a computer is corrupted, it is time for a new one of these:
Then it only takes a few minutes with a screwdriver and quite a few hours of reinstalling software and files and life is good again.
The Computer formerly know as the Ice Cube rose like a phoenix from the ashes. It now has a glistening new installation of Windows XP (formerly Windows 2000) and sports double the RAM and double the hard drive space.
It not only came back, it is much improved, basically rebuilt.
Thank you, William – what would I do without my own personal in-house IT Director? Weep? Probably.
Oh, isn’t it heavenly to have a live-in Computer Dude? I have never bought a computer, very rarely had to install my own software, and never had to call upon a computer repairman. I have listened to the horror stories of my friends who are less fortunate, and I know how truly blessed I am!
What always strikes me as extremely amusing is the reaction of a real dyed-in-the-wool computer geek when faced with the “I think one of the computers is sick”-moment. Somehow their eyes start to sparkle and they immediately start thinking aloud a) which ailment could have befallen the poor little machine b) how to fix it c) how to make everything bigger and better while operating on the patient d) nearly drool while ordering the new parts.
Yes, you are right, anybody with some of those lovable creatures around (amazingly they come in both genders, I know female computer dudes!) is truly blessed.
I have, though, on occasion, received some odd advice from the computer dude. Once, when my monitor was acting up, he suggested I give it some “percussion maintenance”. After I inquired what the heck that was, I tried it, and it worked, temporarily. Of course, for software glitches, I always get the “RTFM” answer – as if a computer dude had EVER read a manual. Then for insoluble problems, there is the “BFH”. (Big F***ing Hammer). I’ve never actually gotten to use that one, but it sounds fun. Of course, the usual answer I got for whatever the problem was “User error.”
„Percussion maintenance“ – oh, I know it well. Actually I performed that operation yesterday on my favorite printer. It is a tiny, tiny Canon i350 (from that model name you can deduct its age – yes, it is six years old) which I just love. Two days ago it did not work any longer, instead the dreaded “ouch, we think you should send that thing to the scrapheap and get a new one”-window appeared. Right. Give the printer a rest of 24 hours, then see what happens. Dreaded “ouch”-window pops up again; I opened the printer, grabbed all the flat cables I could see, pulled them a couple of times, gave the cartridge sled (well, the moving thingy the cartridges sit in and travel back and forth) a nice slap on the back and voila – the printer worked again. Good boy! But then, I would probably start working again, too, if somebody threatened to rip out my innards – if I were a printer.
The BFH I used once years ago. The CD player in my computer had gone bad while trying to install software. I was still living in Germany then, so I put in a call to the computer dude in L.A., who said “oh, you can do that, buy a new one, take the old one out, put the new one in, it’s only a couple of screws.” And you know what – I did do it, everything was wonderful, I was sitting in my study, so proud of myself – until I wanted to pop in the CD with the software… Right, that still sat in the old player, keeping its jaws of metal and plastic tightly shut. I swear, that thing was grinning at me. So I took the next best thing to the BFH, a BF screwdriver, and broke it open. A very, very satisfactory feeling, I must tell you.